You Might Be a Redneck Jedi If…

• You can’t describe the taste of an Ewok without using the word chicken.
• You have a singing fish hanging from the rear view mirror of your X-Wing.
• You have ever used The Force in conjunction with fishing or bowling.
•  You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE force.
• You think the symbol for the Rebel Alliance should be the Confederate flag.
• You have neon lights under your landspeeder.
• You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
• You consider your light saber as the ultimate bug zapper.
• You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really cool sheets.
• Your Jedi mentor ever said “Hey, pull my finger…”
• Your X-wing is up on blocks in your front yard.
• A Wookie has told you that you need to shave.
• The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.
• Sandpeople back down from your mama.
• You pick your teeth with the light saber.
• You wonder why Luke and Leia never got married.
• Wookies are offended by your B.O.
• You have ever used The Force to get yourself another beer so you didn’t have to wait for a commercial.
• Your father has ever said to you, “Shoot, son come on over t’ the dark side… it’ll be a hoot.”

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