Tiger Woods Jokes

There was some good news for Tiger today. He was just voted “Athlete of the Decade” by The Associated Press. He’s also been named “Athlete of the Decade” by Playboy, Penthouse, and Hustler

We now see that Tiger Woods drives very well on the fairway but doesn’t fare very well on the driveway.

Tiger Woods’ popularity has fallen down to 33 percent. Any lower and maybe he should think about running for Congress.

He never lied to her when he said, “Honey, I’m going out to play around”.

Did you know that Tiger doesn’t like to refer to his other women as “mistresses.” He prefers to call them “provisionals.”

This year on Christmas Eve, Tiger Woods will be setting cookies and milk by  the fireplace. He isn’t sure that Santa is coming that night, but he fully  expects Gloria Allred to be there. with a subpoena.

Tiger Woods paid some of his mistresses between $5,000 and $20,000 a month to keep quiet about his affairs. That’s the second bailout plan this year  that didn’t work.

One of the Tiger Woods’ mistresses, is in talks to pose for Playboy. They  are thinking they can have each month of the year covered with each mistress and call it “The Year of the Tiger”.

Another woman linked to Tiger Woods is 48 years old. Or, as Tiger refers to her, “my senior tour.”

Tiger Woods is taking a break from golf. I guess he needs some time off to get his AFFAIRS in order.

Construction on a Tiger Woods Golf Course will continue in Dubai, according to a spokesman for the project. However, they are considering changing their advertising slogan: “If you love golf and want to play a round.”

What is one golf expression that Tiger will never say to his wife again?  ”Hey Honey, I’m just going to play another 9 holes!”

Everyone is making out their Christmas lists. Tiger Woods is asking for a brand new alibi.

When the cop asked Mrs. Woods how many times she hit Tiger with the club she said, “I don’t know, put me down for a five.”

Tiger is early favorite for 2010 Noble Piece!

Difference between Tiger and Santa Claus? Santa stops at three ‘ho’s!

It’s a good thing Tiger Woods is a champion golfer, imagine what he’d have been hit with if he was a champion bowler!      Tiger’s favorite Christmas carol: “I’m Dreaming of a White Mistress”

The latest speculation is that Tiger Woods may be trying to rekindle his marriage by taking his wife on a cruise on his yacht. You know, before it  becomes her yacht.

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